The Urge to Control

    Often times in one group or even subgroup there is always that person who at the back of your mind you wish wasn’t there because he or she is very manipulative. controlling. bossy. <insert more synonyms here for emphasis>.

    Just the other day, we were on duty when a “scene” happened during our break. Tension arose over just a simple issue as one of us tried to be the boss of the rest of us. She yelled at us, commanded, like we aren’t even friends at all. Maybe it was because of that formula that triggered it: heat + tiredness + restlessness + more heat = hot heads. But maybe it was something more, and it only came to me that day when the situation got intense.

  Maybe it’s situational? But that person reacts the same way when she doesn’t get what she wants. So maybe it’s dispositional.  So you know he or she is controlling. That’s the first step- recognition. And with that in mund, unless you’re okay with being manipulated and think that’s bearable for you, the last thing you might want to do is tolerate it and consider yourself inferior to him or her. It is important that you process both your and the controller’s action with full awareness. Usually, a controller would push that he is always right and what you think is not considerable. This person I know throws tantrums when things don’t go her way. But of course I wouldn’t tolerate that. See, this manipulation is a form of emotional abuse, and like any other abuse, you can’t get out of it if you won’t draw the line.

Unless it’s my parents, no one else can pull my strings easily.

To be in control is a good thing. To be controlling is not. There is a big difference.

here check this out People who are controlling

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